The Moment
This is not how I imagined it. Not that I’d given a great deal of thought to it you understand. But, I’m not alone am I? In letting my mind slip, my imagination take hold and to wonder ‘what if’? Maybe it is just me, I’ve always suspected I have an over active imagination, I tend to spend a lot of time wondering ‘what it’ about all manner of things and situations and much of the time those wonderings gather pace and before I know it I have full blown scenarios dancing through my head taking on a life of their own. Receiving a cancer diagnosis was no exception. When it had played out in my head I’d imagined an office, a sympathetic looking doctor sitting behind a desk, a concerned looking patient shooting nervous looking glances at a supportive partner or friend, bracing themselves for news. What I hadn’t imagined was a cubicle in a busy, noisy A and E department. Yet this is where I find myself. The sympathetic looking doctor is here, a little young maybe, but definitely fulfilling the ‘sympathetic looking’ requirement. But there’s no desk, no supportive partner to hold my hand. Just me and my 2 year old son and he most definitely wasn’t meant to be here.
3 Comments
Big Trouble in Little Nappies
This is such a beautifully written and heartwrenching piece. Thank you, brave lady, for writing and sharing what must have been one of the most difficult days of your life. I think this blog will be so good for others, for you and most of all, for Hugo when he is older and can read about the heart and love behind his treatment. Much love x
Lisa Griffiths
Thank you so much for your kind comments. It's nice to think of Hugo reading this in years to come when these tough days are a distant memory x
Jen
I can't begin to imagine how it would feel to hear this devastating news, but I do know from experience how therapeutic it is to write down your emotions – and it is bizarrely wonderful and bittersweet to look back on further down the line. I agree completely that it will be so good for Hugo to read when he's older too. You'll all be so proud of how far you've come anyway, but having the whole story written down will just emphasise that. So much love to you all xx